You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
- You speed walk in your sleep.
- You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack".
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You lip your coffeepot clean.
- You spend every vacation visiting "Kona Coffee Farms".
- You're employee of the month at the local coffee shop & you don't work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- Your T-Shirt says "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee".
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low".
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- You find a penny & say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup".
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- You're so wired, you pick up AM radio signals.
- Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop".
- You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar".
- Your Thermos is on wheels.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You don't get mad, you get steamed.